at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
