We're facebook friends in real life
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
