Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
