My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
there is puke in my bra ... again
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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