do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
