Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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