Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
