the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
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Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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