That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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