a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
