if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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