I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
