Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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