i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
