sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
