I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
