Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
bring money and cleavage
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
