I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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