I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
