Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
