There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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