Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
