My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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