and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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