Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
