I have demons in me.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
