I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
