I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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