Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
