okay pat passed out under dana's car
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
