Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
