Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
