i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
