Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
