he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
