with your own penis?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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