Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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