I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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