what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
