it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
