Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
