i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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