On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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