thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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