It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
