She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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