Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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