Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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