Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He better not be in your backpack
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
