I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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