Don't you send me to vm
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
