There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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