If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
