let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
