They should really pass out barf bags in church
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
