We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
