Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
