i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
