fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
