Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
