Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

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  (603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her http://tfl.nu/t8zc
  Replies (90) Good night (2745) Bad night (23517)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?

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  (817): what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!? http://tfl.nu/lfzq
  Replies (9) Good night (4158) Bad night (828)
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  (818): View more from California

  I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff

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  (818): I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff http://tfl.nu/b3xl
  Replies (83) Good night (12391) Bad night (1490)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.

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  (801): You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night. http://tfl.nu/ij9z
  Replies (9) Good night (3691) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?

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  (248): Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"? http://tfl.nu/h596
  Replies (38) Good night (4763) Bad night (2636)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.

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  (813): Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear. http://tfl.nu/hyjr
  Replies (20) Good night (843) Bad night (6585)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...

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  (706): Just donated money to a kid for her softball team. (706): Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years... http://tfl.nu/z5u3
  Replies (34) Good night (4220) Bad night (849)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

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  (407): she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store http://tfl.nu/25ph
  Replies (86) Good night (14848) Bad night (2632)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..

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  (585): I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking.. http://tfl.nu/q39t
  Replies (10) Good night (3562) Bad night (941)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken

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  (412): when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken http://tfl.nu/q0nt
  Replies (18) Good night (2038) Bad night (4554)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.

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  (440): Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways. http://tfl.nu/jmoy
  Replies (3) Good night (2804) Bad night (859)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.

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  (780): I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe. http://tfl.nu/j3zt
  Replies (13) Good night (970) Bad night (2282)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.

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  (661): Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting. http://tfl.nu/cxg1
  Replies (4) Good night (550) Bad night (1658)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"

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  (778): we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon" http://tfl.nu/dp34
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes

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  (614): hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/9g7z
  Replies (0) Good night (325) Bad night (545)

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