Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook

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(517): i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook http://tfl.nu/5f2q

Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (858)
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(317): View more from Indiana

i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick

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(317): i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick http://tfl.nu/0icp

Replies (21) Good night (3669) Bad night (866)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?

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(603): So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'? http://tfl.nu/2o2u

Replies (26) Good night (885) Bad night (3706)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense

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(703): I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense http://tfl.nu/aaqg

Replies (20) Good night (8015) Bad night (915)
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(626): View more from California

Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?

(308): View more from Nebraska

Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.

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(626): Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened? (308): Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex. http://tfl.nu/5y08

Replies (17) Good night (4708) Bad night (1082)
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(315): View more from New York

i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.

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(315): i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night. http://tfl.nu/xhhx

Replies (12) Good night (1511) Bad night (2800)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

Sounds like the perfect vacation

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(609): My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days (1-609): Sounds like the perfect vacation http://tfl.nu/rgtv

Replies (1) Good night (1302) Bad night (1129)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.

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(303): Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face. http://tfl.nu/mcx6

Replies (7) Good night (1702) Bad night (400)
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(646): View more from New York

If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better

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(646): If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better http://tfl.nu/zbhj

Replies (3) Good night (1483) Bad night (894)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?

(515): View more from Iowa

Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...

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(515): Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis? (515): Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you... http://tfl.nu/0yf4

Replies (4) Good night (729) Bad night (333)
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(562): View more from California

There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.

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(562): There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph. http://tfl.nu/ubbg

Replies (6) Good night (1005) Bad night (328)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night

(212): View more from New York

Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate

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(908): My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night (212): Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate http://tfl.nu/bmji

Replies (4) Good night (1263) Bad night (400)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.

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(317): Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things. http://tfl.nu/c5bt

Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (234)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.

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(765): Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times. http://tfl.nu/e7uk

Replies (1) Good night (711) Bad night (255)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless

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(910): like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless http://tfl.nu/zehw

Replies (3) Good night (432) Bad night (204)

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