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Yo dont text me then not text me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
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