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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job

  Fav 24 6933 852

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.

  Fav 14 6979 1546

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (805): View more from California

  That bad?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.

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