Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b

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  (646): He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b http://tfl.nu/u8b0
  Replies (29) Good night (2109) Bad night (1412)
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  (707): View more from California

  Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.

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  (707): Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman. http://tfl.nu/1yjg
  Replies (6) Good night (3381) Bad night (637)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good

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  (863): I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good http://tfl.nu/hwo6
  Replies (14) Good night (5019) Bad night (1245)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment

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  (608): we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment http://tfl.nu/hmt1
  Replies (17) Good night (1091) Bad night (4726)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.

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  (248): i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina. http://tfl.nu/jhba
  Replies (16) Good night (4957) Bad night (1065)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.

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  (306): I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me. http://tfl.nu/ri8m
  Replies (16) Good night (913) Bad night (2733)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer

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  (614): last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer http://tfl.nu/8528
  Replies (5) Good night (1588) Bad night (433)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.

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  (954): Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something. http://tfl.nu/6993
  Replies (3) Good night (738) Bad night (807)
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  (805): View more from California

  Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"

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  (805): Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out" http://tfl.nu/3yx5
  Replies (7) Good night (601) Bad night (1080)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.

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  (302): Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells. http://tfl.nu/dzek
  Replies (4) Good night (1128) Bad night (441)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me

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  (413): Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me http://tfl.nu/3euu
  Replies (7) Good night (513) Bad night (1045)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made

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  (859): Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made http://tfl.nu/odg4
  Replies (5) Good night (996) Bad night (288)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.

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  (+44): There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though. http://tfl.nu/j5bh
  Replies (2) Good night (227) Bad night (611)
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  (716): View more from New York

  It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?

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  (716): It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going? http://tfl.nu/me0b
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (215)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with

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  (905): I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with http://tfl.nu/izq7
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (237)

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