Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.

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  (770): I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too. http://tfl.nu/c8jr
  Replies (24) Good night (819) Bad night (4219)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.

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  (314): so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for. http://tfl.nu/ue3g
  Replies (16) Good night (4191) Bad night (969)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.

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  (410): I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it. http://tfl.nu/si6n
  Replies (19) Good night (6521) Bad night (1168)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer

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  (708): youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer http://tfl.nu/xxdd
  Replies (31) Good night (11283) Bad night (1472)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell

  (816): View more from Missouri

  please tell me you are kidding me

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  (913): i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell (816): please tell me you are kidding me http://tfl.nu/zfgp
  Replies (22) Good night (1638) Bad night (4872)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.

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  (402): let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him. http://tfl.nu/l9xp
  Replies (8) Good night (3041) Bad night (663)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years

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  (315): Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years http://tfl.nu/qjp6
  Replies (12) Good night (2976) Bad night (744)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.

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  (336): I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat. http://tfl.nu/ctm6
  Replies (5) Good night (1788) Bad night (568)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.

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  (701): She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down. http://tfl.nu/f22r
  Replies (18) Good night (754) Bad night (1383)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.

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  (509): He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him. http://tfl.nu/5ca1
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (357)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.

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  (570): He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point. http://tfl.nu/lnts
  Replies (4) Good night (593) Bad night (450)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.

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  (202): I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself. http://tfl.nu/zw8t
  Replies (3) Good night (633) Bad night (366)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?

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  (317): I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened? http://tfl.nu/0nes
  Replies (2) Good night (284) Bad night (552)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.

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  (410): The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club. http://tfl.nu/ncu7
  Replies (0) Good night (430) Bad night (268)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?

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  (774): Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl? http://tfl.nu/9fti
  Replies (3) Good night (348) Bad night (210)

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