U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
