I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
