Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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