Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think i peed on brittanys purse
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
