if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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